What does your golf bag say about you?
It is amazing what factual information one can deduce, simply based on the golf bag another player uses. Based on some “fan mail” I received yesterday from a HOG reader we will call “Eric/Tom” the following facts about a player can be determined by the bag he/she uses:
- If the player is an asshole
- If the player sucks at golf
- If the player can break 100
- If the player can play a round of golf in less then 5 hours
- If the player thinks he/she is good, despite whether or not he/she is
Below is the conversation I had with Eric/Tom. He’s called Eric/Tom because he wrote Tom in the “from” field of my site contact form, but his email said Eric…
Eric/Tom: Love your review on the ogio golf bag. Nice to know what kind of golfer you are. I used to caddie and we would make the rookies take guys with ogio golf bags because they all sucked at golf, thought they we good even though they couldn’t break 100, and were also assholes who played in at least 5 hours. Good luck with your new bag.
Me: Not sure I understand what you’re saying Tom.
Eric/Tom: I was just saying that I have never met a good player who uses an ogio golf bag
Me: So because I reviewed an ogio bag you think I’m an asshole, suck at golf and that I can’t break 100?
Eric/Tom: Yes
Me: Why does your email say Eric but the name you entered on the contact form is Tom?
Eric/Tom: Not sure buddy
Me: This conversation is intriguing. Lets say that this week I’m playing a TaylorMade bag. Does that instantly mean that I’m not an asshole, I don’t suck at golf and that I can break 100?
Eric/Tom: I am sorry it’s been so interesting. It wasn’t meant to be. I was just responding to your review of Ogio bags with memories of my past and the people I associated them with.
For The Record
I play several bags per year, either because of the season (bigger bags in the winter to hold winter gear) or because I’m reviewing bags which are submitted here. Perhaps during weeks that I play bags which Eric/Tom doesn’t like I’m an asshole who can’t break 100 or play a round of golf in less than five hours, and perhaps when I’m playing bags Eric/Tom does like, I’m not an asshole and I can break 100 in less than five hours.
My last round Wednesday from the black tees (tips) at Bonneville Golf Course was a 72. Winds were 15-20 mph from the southwest. Par for the course is 72, slope 125 and rating 71.7. USGA differential for that round was 0.3. That is 28 shots lower than 100 for those of you counting at home.
Holy shiznit wait a second. I wasn’t using an Ogio bag for that round. I was using a TaylorMade Golf bag! Could Eric/Tom be right? Perhaps next Wednesday when I play Bonneville again I’ll grab an Ogio bag from the garage, put it in play and report back my score. Think it will be less than 100?
Related Links
Ogio Whisp Golf Bag Review
Ogio Grom Stand Bag Review
HOGWire – Golf Industry News
Seems to me there is only one asshole in this conversation. I’ve been a caddy too, and I took any loop because you never know who you’ll meet. Not only that, but the shitty golfers are usually the best tippers too. I would venture to guess that Eric/Tom didn’t last too long as a caddie with his attitude.
I guess when I was playing mini tours with my Ogio bags I rarely broke 100, too. One generalization that I have found to be true is that people who say “sucked at golf” or for that matter “at golf” in any context may hack but they do not play golf. Players do not do anything “at golf.”
I have worked in the golf business since 1985. i have been a starter,bartender,and greenkeeper at munis, mom and pop courses, and two country clubs. I have learned that you can never be sure how good a persons golf game might be based on the gear they have or the clothes they wear. Same goes for people being a##holes. E/T is wrong.
I think Eric/Tom is onto something. I currently have a Sun Mountain bag and feel that it is responsible for my difficulties in breaking 80. Pfff, lucky I don’t have an Ogio and I may need to move to Taylormade in order to shoot par. Wait my wife as an Ogio bag and she does break a hundred so now I am confused could a player’s game be independent of the brand of his bag?
BTW, Bonnevile is the second easiest track in SLC after Wingpointe, not really hard to shoot par especially with the wind helping!
(Sorry for a poor attempt at a humorous post… Tony, I enjoy very much your blog and as a former slutian, love the updates of the region)
I currently play a Nike bag. According to Eric/Toms statistics, I therefore need 2,4 putts per green, have two noses and come from Mars.