I’m mildly entertained by golf signs. I’m not sure who writes them, but they are often good for a laugh when one really reads them. Here’s one which is found on the first tee of my home course, Bonneville.
Fair enough. It’s some kind of warning to golfers that if they cause damage, they are responsible for it. But is this sign necessary? Are we not all basically aware that we are responsible for damage we cause, whether on or off a golf course? Why don’t we have signs like this say, I don’t know, on city streets? “Citizens are responsible for any and all damage caused by them.”
This sign is particularly entertaining to my twisted brain. Golfers are responsible for “any and all damage.” Um, if they are responsible for “any” damage would that not mean all damage? If they were responsible for “all” damage would that not also include any damage? Why not just say, “golfers are responsible for damage…?”
I’m glad that the sign does make it clear golfers are responsible for any and all damage caused by them. Before reading this sign I was actually in fear that I (a golfer) would be held responsible for any and all damage caused by high winds. I was especially fearful I’d be on the hook (so to speak) for any and all damage caused by meteorites crashing down to earth.
In reading this sign I’ve learned too, that I’m responsible for any and all damage caused by my equipment or my golf balls. After all.. golf balls are not equipment. So what is equipment then? Clubs? Is a golf towel considered equipment? What if my golf towel causes any and all damage? Am I responsible for that?
Further, what if my golf equipment or my golf balls cause damage, but I’m not around. What if I lose a golf ball in the trees on the 7th, then 12 days later a deer trips on it and falls down a hill and smashes through the window of the snack bar. Am I responsible for that damage? And I wonder… can equipment itself cause damage? The sign says the golfer is responsible for any and all damage caused by them or their equipment.
What happens if one golfer takes another golfer’s equipment and causes damage? Who is responsible then?
Wait a minute. I’ve been a bit wrong in this analysis. What if a non golfer caused damage? The sign specifies that golfers are responsible, not mountain bikers or tennis players or just non-golfers. So if a non-golfer came to the course and caused damage I would presume that individual would not be responsible for any and all damage he caused. But wait a second. If a non-golfer stole my 5-iron and caused damage with it, would I be responsible? After all, it was my equipment. Perhaps the sign needs another attorney to write up an addendum.
Finally the sign specifies that the golfer, his equipment and golf balls are responsible for any and all damage caused while on this golf course. So the golfer is only responsible for any and all damage caused by him, his equipment or golf balls on the golf course. That obviously means the golfer could cause damage elsewhere, not on the golf course, and not be responsible for any and all of it. And of course, if the person was not a golfer, he/she would not be responsible for any and all damage, because only golfers are responsible.
Okay. Got it. If any such occurrences happen I will report them to the pro shop.